NPR loyalists are reported to be in disarray following a dastardly sneak attack by the Tea Party Freedom Fighters. Reliable sources state that the loyalist supporters are preparing defenses against the onslaught of their underground bunkers and are requested urgent assistance from international relief agencies.
Reporters indicate that the NPR defenses are weakening and managers have resorted to using indiscriminate grammar and bad spelling to torture disloyal staffers. Unconfirmed reports indicate a rash of dangling participles are occuring below the radar.
Republican Leaders are calling for an immediate end to broadcasting and creation of a No Transmit zone if NPR fails to comply – in order to protect freedom loving rebel journalists. Some reports indicate that NPR journalists are failing to hit their targets on purpose, a claim which the NPR regime strongly denies.
One caller to the BBC show “Have your say” calling from a Cell Phone in Beijing China said he knows that NPR is actually controlled by the Secret Police of Zimbabwe, a claim that does not appear anyone can refute.
Late word has just arrived that Dictator for life of NPR Vivian Schiller has resigned. The NY Times is reported to be offering her safe passage and sanctuary. Director of revenue generation Ron Stiller (no relation) announced that he already quit before he was caught on video, and will be relocating to a secret compound located deep in the mountains of Colorado. Just arriving reports indicate the Colorado fortress has refused to provide sanctuary.
Pictures taken from near the NPR headquarters show substantial movement of heavy traffic along the main thoroughfares and evidence of serious deterioration of the pavement.
Spokesman for President Obama indicated they have no opinion on the matter, and will issue a statement only after all the facts are known. Journalist Juan Williams has announced that he is available to participate in an interim governing council while surrender negotiations are underway.
Industry sources have expressed concern that this unrest could spread, and ultimately topple the regimes of all media empires in the entire area
In the sting on NPR the NPR representatives state the Tea Party people are racists.
Hypocrasy Alert.
Then , in the same interview, they state how other media (not NPR of course) are all controlled by Jews. And these are the same Lib people who say we can’t stereotype or racially profile Muslims at airports?
So let me review for all you out there who might still be unclear:
If you are a Liberal and make stereotypical statements, they are OK because they aren’t against people WE care about.
Everyone OK with this?
NPR got off to a bad start, and as these things often do, it eventually went bad. NPR, of course, was not intended to be named National Public Radio, but National Peoples’ Radio. How could anyone commit or permit such a heinous error? I wrote to Comrade Vivian after the Comrade Juan firing and told her to expect my personal involvement in defunding her branch of the Politburo. I’m still at it. In the meantime, I say find them and relocate them into re-education camps (Tule Lake would be cool) until they get it. I know, I know, the late great Lo Pan once said, “You are not put upon this Earth to Get It,” but he also said that “…like fools, we try.”
Get it?
I’ll try.
Both Schillers are on record saying that NPR doesn’t need federal funding in order to survive, and I think we should take both of them at their word. Let George Soros dig deep (like he did last month) and fill in any gaps that the lack of tax money may leave, so that NPR really will be National Palestinian Radio (or Naturally Progressive Radio, if you prefer.)