Burger King Blues

Burger King has been spending a lot of money to lure me back into their place.   You may remember Burger King just was bought by a company from Brazil.

They’ve reworked their breakfast menu, so I thought – what the heck?    I should have taken the hint that I was the only one in the place and the help seemed to be startled they had a customer.

So I figure I’ll order the super dooper king size breakfast platter, and get a little of everything, and a “milk”.  So I sit down to enjoy my $7.60 breakfast, and it’s at best so-so.  I know the sausage is pre-cooked, the pancakes were made in a factory, but this isn’t a real restaurant or anything.

So I open up the “milk” and it tastes a little odd, but I keep going on…  after another gulp, I realize it is really not at all good.  I don’t expect anyone to carry regular milk, but this is bad.  It has a very familiar taste. 

Back before Lyndon Johnson and the great society, if you were poor, you faced the “indignity” of going to the fire hall once a month to pick up “surplus food” (before there was a thing called food stamps, and the government co-opted the grocery business). 

One of the staples of the surplus food program was “non-fat dry milk”.   Absoultely putrid stuff – when you mix it with water, it comes out blue.   Nothing you can do will change the horrible taste.   That’s what I tasted this morning.

So I give them the benefit of the doubt – I just said “Milk”, I wasn’t specific – maybe they carry 1 or 2% milk if I had known to ask.   So I went back to the counter and inquired.   “No, that’s the only thing we have – the 1% milk”….  ummm It’s not 1% milk, it’s non-fat (“on, yeah”).  

“I have to tell you that if that’s all you carry, I’m never coming back here for breakfast (I live 2 blocks away). 

“Well, that’s all we carry.   They’re mainly for the kids, and you know…  everyone is worried about healthy food and stuff.”

“Well, as long as that’s all you carry, I won’t be back.  It’s horrible – it’s nothing but powdered milk and water – it’s horrible”. 

“Oh well”….

“No I understand, Michelle Obama runs the country now.  See you in five years.”

“Well, I won’t be here in five years”

“Whatever….”

Now that’s customer service!    All together now…  “Have it your way, at Burger King…. have it your way, at Burger King….  Special orders don’t upset us…”