The eve before Christmas

Inspired by Clemente Moore and Donkey Cartel

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the mall
Shoppers were hurrying, including the louse;
The ammo clips were filled with bullets with care,
In hopes that the other gang soon would be there;

The children were distracted by iPhones in their hands;
While visions of sugar-candy bombs danced in their heads;
And mamma on her iPad and I in my VR helmet,
Had just settled our brains for a long cyber sex,

When out In the food court there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my screen to see what was the matter.
Away to the Foot Locker I flew like a flash,
opened my camera and turned on the flash.
The glow of the LED lights of the ornaments above,
Gave a lustre of cheer to the people below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a guy with a handgun and blood on the floor,
With a hoodie so slick and rap tunes full of shit,
I knew in a moment he must be Donkey Cartel.

More rapid than eagles the unarmed security guards they came,
And he laughed, and shouted, and called them bad names:
“Now, Rent-a-cops ! now, Murderers! now racists and Thugs!
#blacklivesmatter and Obama will stop you, too!
To the top of the stairs! to the top of the mall! Now eager white shoppers run away all!”

As victims that before hurricane Katrina sat idly by,
When they meet with a threat, cry for more gun free zones and more cameras
So out to the parking lot exits they flew
With the bags full of jewelry, and Star Wars action figures too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the floor
The shoes of an off duty policeman running with care
As Donkey Cartel drew up the gun, and was turning around,
The rapper star’s head exploded as he was hit with a round.

He was dressed all in fake gold, from his head to his Adidas,
And his clothes were all soiled with blood And his feces
A hoodie he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a burglar just prying opening the door.

His eyes—how they just stared! his dimples, how droopy!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was sagging below,

And the shine on his Ruger was as white as his crack;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a tight noose;

He had a broad face and a little round abs
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of chronic
He was thin and gaunt, a right sorry young punk,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A blink of his eye and a twisting of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but will go straight to the morgue,

And writhing in his agony; he turned with a jerk,
And ponting his middle finger up in the air
And giving a nod, up to rapper heaven he rose;
He sprang to his ride, to his gang gave a whistle,

And away my YouTube video uploaded to the cloud in a flash.

But I heard him moan, ere he ended his short life,
“Black Lives matter, allah akbar, and to all da bitches I slapped, a good night!”

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5 Responses to The eve before Christmas

  1. Fred Stiening says:

    Lest I mislead people, I was fitting information into an existing poem. There is video of the shooting and him lying on the floor dead. So things that were not accurate in the tribute
    – he wasn’t covered in gold
    – he wasn’t wearing a hoodie

    Not sure the brand of gun or shoes, but everything else was right. He had posted a tweet a few days earlier about how he had run away from mall security. I feel fairly confident he was well on the radar of the security folks. While the mall is okay with open carry, you have to be 21. He looks older than he is, but they were probably reluctant to ask him for ID to prove his age. That’s not really mall security’s job. I don’t know if the regular security are armed or not.

    So if he was a known entity in the mall and awareness that he was likely to cause a problem, the off duty cop might have given him no benefit of the doubt. I’m OK with that. Shooting a guy sitting in a chair in front of his house who is not a threat is a problem. Icing a criminal thug firing a gun inside a crowded shopping mall – my conscience can live with that.

  2. Fred Stiening says:

    Northlake Mall is explicitly NOT a gun free zone. The owner supports legal carry inside the mall

  3. Fred Stiening says:

    For those who might care, the laws in North Carolina about handguns are in flux. North Carolina still has the residue of Jim Crow laws designed to deny blacks their right to own handguns. Ownership can only be transferred by making application to the County Sheriff who has a fairly arbitrary power to deny the permit. A person with the more stringent conceal carry permit does not need an approved application, only the permit.

    In any case, you have to be 21 years old to own a handgun – Donkey Cartel was 18. The only situation where an 18 year old may possess a handgun is while an adult is supervising (like a gun range), while hunting or inside their residence. So even without looking at his extensive arrest record, he was committing a felony by carrying the gun.

    The altercation appears to be that he encountered the person who had shot his brother in the head earlier this year. Hatfield, meet McCoy

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