Today was the best day since arriving back home in North Carolina. Maybe a month ago, I wrote about the Florida supermarket chain Publix preparing to open 8 stores in Charlotte. This is important, since Charlotte is a huge food desert with almist no places to buy food.
So I decided the time had arrived to go across the state line and search for food at the Publix already open in South Carolina.
On the way, I stopped at K&W Cafeteria for lunch. The table attendant Antoine could not have been more helpful and attentive. He had helped me before. I’m not sure where he immigrated from – I’m guessing the Virgin Islands or Dominican Republic. He’s one black man who clearly loves this country and his job. I asked if K&W has a schedule of the things they normally serve each day. He told me the cooks decide that each morning based on what they have. However, I was signed up for an email service that will send me the menu each morning. Off to a great start.
It’s in the 50s, the sun is shining! The enchanting land of South Carolia awaits. I cross the magical line and about 4 miles further, there is Publix. I notice there is a haircut place next door and I’m way overdue. The woman who cuts my hair is probably 40ish, not a dim bulb 20 something. I start throwing out information about how glad I am to be back. We start talking about grocery stores and such, and how they’re planning to move the NC/SC border. She was actually listening to my stories and adding her own experiences and opinions. Wow, an actual conversation, not a couple grunts pretending to care. I’m feeling good.
On to Publix – it is pretty much what my prior research suggested – it is a Florida chain, not a Southern chain. The parking lot has cars from Florida and NY in addition to North and South Carolina. It’s a chain targeted at people who spend the summer up North and winter in Florida (or maybe now the Carolinas?)
So I ask a few questions telling employees I’m new here and they are helpful. Then Davia spots me. She’s a very attractive black woman with a Slight Carribean accent and incredibly friendly. She has moved up from Florida to help open the new stores in Charlotte. She’s definitely flirting with me, which never ever happens to me. It likely is just part of her job to drum up business but encouraged me to come see her again at the store opening next week. Even if it isn’t sincere, it feels really good. Mr Happy is (TMI). I must have one great looking haircut today 😉
Then the big shocker. Yesterday, I bumped into the Pepsi guy in Walmart and asked him about Pepsi Throwback (the non-HFCS sugar version). He knew what I was asking, but the bottling company in North Carolina discontinued it. But I had reason to believe it might be availiable in SC. Got to the soda aisle and there it is! I’ve found the prey I was searching for. It can’t get better than this.
The two women at the checkout are friendly – I mention that I’m smuggling Pepsi Throwback back to North Carolina. They get it. One of the women asks about something I’m buying – have I had it before, do I like it? Probably sincere, maybe just something they do to be friendly. But it really doesn’t matter. We had a very pleasant interaction. This is nothing like Connecticut. I will continue to miss CT every chance I get.
I was born in a small town in Ct about 60 years ago to a farmer Dad. It was a place where everyone knew and looked out for each other. Come hay time many neighbors would lend a hand and that labor was reciprocated when they needed a hand.
Then someone figured out farmland was worth 50 times what the farmers 1st paid for it to put up houses and the politicians just saw tax $ flowing into city coffers.-it changed the entire state. The farmers left, some retired, some moved west and some simply died I guess. But whenever an area goes from ag to small industry and larger industry (Pratt and Whitney, Sikorsky, etc) that cordiality seems to go with it. I go back now to visit family every 5 years or so and do not recognize it any more. It’s gone from Mayberry to a sprawling Hartford-New Haven-Bridgeport-Indian gaming city. Cash is king. Manners take a back seat.
There was a commedian about 5 years ago that had a line saying “My wife is Indian… that’s casino Indian, not computer Indian”
Publix is one of the best stores for helping their customers. Only one problem… the prices are way too high if you don’t use manufacture coupons and competitor’s store coupons. That competitor here is Target. You can sometimes get items for free, especially, when you can buy one get one free.
I live near a Costco and it has good prices.
Art is good to know you are feeling good these days. Southern communication is all about just being human and caring about what is going on around you and of course other people. For the most part folks are sincere and like interaction with others. Customers who are quiet and not really speaking to clerks, cahiers and others, give them the sense, right or wrong, that the customer feels superior to them. But, as you found out, your little ‘joke’ about smuggling some soda back to NC is just the ticket to get others to open up too.
Once you get to the point where you can be cruising backcountry roads and just stop at someone’s house and strike up a conversation just by saying, “Hey, I’m either lost or just turned around, but do you know where that farm is, that still makes and sells their own molasses?”
I have just enough credentials to pass as something other than a “Yankee”, although I recognize I’m not a “born Southerner”. So much is attitude. My nephew’s wife is a neurologist and is on some top 100 people under 40 movers and shakers listin Charlotte. Her profile says her goal is to educate Southern people why their diet is making them sick. Even if true, that’s not how to start the conversation.
Yeah, trying to educate Southern people why their diet is making them sick is not a wise conversation starter in order to win over friends. Outside of their small circle that attitude does not favorably influence the vast majority. Better to try something along the lines of “those big corporations are pushing GMO foods down your throat” might be better, but still not gonna get a person many points.
Anyways, being a “Yankee” is not an automatic disqualifier, and in fact can be quite a boost. It is all in the attitude. For instance, start off with a ‘joke’ as outlined above, or with the “I’m lost, can you help me find the path?”, or with, “I should know better, but…”.
Anything will do so long as it is self-deprecating, that is, “I don’t really know that much, and I’m not very smart, so can you do me a favor and help me?” Those folks in the top 100 might not stoop to such a low level, so those folks will not get any help, much less engage in a meaningful conversation.
You mean there are better ways to start a conversation than “The way we always did it in New York was….” lol